How do you do?
Keep it cool, man, keep it cool.
Archive for March, 2008
Potential
Seems like every aspect of my life is full of potential, but nothing is blossoming. At least not yet. Maybe 2008 is going to be a year of investment and positioning… Of preparing myself for the thing(s) God is going to bring to fruition in my life.
Ricky put it this way… My life and future right now are like being at a strip club (not that I’d know). Everything seems great and exciting but I can’t really touch anything for real, and I have no idea if anything that I’m pursuing will eventually materialize into something meaningful.
But I’ll keep pushing forward in all aspects of my life, even when it doesn’t seem to make sense.
Unknown
I’m OK with not knowing what is going to happen in my future.
I gave that to God a long time ago. Not that I don’t care what happens in my life, but I abandoned it to God’s desires and that was the best decision I’ve ever made. It literally doesn’t matter to me now what I end up doing with my life because I know that as long as I keep surrendered-to and seeking-after God I will be doing the ‘right’ thing.
What I’m not OK with (or rather, what I have a harder time with) are instances that necessitate action or decision making in the midst of such unknown. I want to make decisions but am held back by the openness of my future.
Example: My car’s transmission went out last week. Bummer. Car trouble happens to everyone, though, so I don’t mind too much. I also don’t mind that I have to get a new car because my old one wasn’t worth fixing. My anxiety comes when I don’t know what kind of car to get or if I should just keep using the good ol’ Buick Century that my parents are letting me borrow. If I am moving to Africa in May I shouldn’t buy a car. If I’m going to continue to do music and keep gigging, I should buy a car that is going to be reliable, fuel-efficient, and has the correct cargo space.
What to do?
Pray, I think.
Driving
Sometimes when I’m driving I feel like I’m controlling a mech-warrior or something and that everyone else on the road is doing the same.
Is that weird?
