Some guy I don’t know just gave me a bag of Reese’s Pieces.
That warrants a post in my journal.
Archive for 2006 — Page 2
Not doing homework…
I really like grocery shopping late at night. There is hardly anyone in the store, and everyone who is there is in the same boat as me. They either:
1. Are too busy to be able to shop during the day, or they
2. Are as indecisive as me when it comes to inconsequential decisions.
I just have a really hard time picking what I want and would rather not bother other people and be in their way. It took me 5-10 minutes to choose a new toothbrush and new toothpaste… there are way too many options. It took me about 20 minutes to choose which vegitables I wanted in my stir-fry, and after bagging up a half pound of green beans with my bare hands, I dumped them back into the pile because I changed my mind.
Maybe that’s kind of neurotic or something, but my mom says I’ve always been like this with certain things. She says that choosing my Vans skate shoes was the hardest thing I had to do each year in elementary school.
I started to feel bad about it just now… but you know what? I’m going ot have to use this tooth brush for at least the next 4 months… that’s a long time to stick with a poorly made decision. I’m glad I was able to assess the proper balance between comfort, functionality, price, and style. I really am.
Senior?
I want so badly to be somebody. The truth is, I think that this desire to be valuable drives most of my decisions in life. I see myself choosing words and actions, making choices in order to be somebody. I don’t care how I do it, but I want to be known. I want to be recognized as having value of some sort. I want to achieve the highest, look the best, be the funniest, all in the name of … well, Matt. I want you to know me… maybe not even that… Sometimes I just want you to know of me.
Please notice me.
Please congratulate me.
Please make me feel important.
When you ask me, I’ll say I am pursuing purposes beyond my own, striving to be more than just a temporal body which is here for but a blink of an eye, and this is true, it really is. But what do my actions and ulterior motives reveal? Certainly I have much in me to be refined and far yet to travel.
